Amongst that

I still wander there in the hopes
Where finding you is never felt
But the lament of heart keeps my perusal alive
When I walk the countryside now
Seeing the mist trail
Somehow they swirl
Like you tread through them, and ran
Hid amongst the mountainside
Or maybe by the lake
Sometimes the winds blow the mist away
I wish they don’t and the mist stays
For your only form of presence left visible now
Where my imagination is in rendition
Amongst the old mist trail

Long gone Spring

Red, like the shade of my own flows
under my skin, the sun sets across
the night falls, its chill piercing my soul
and I curl into myself under the black sky

I yearn for her touch, her voice, her smell
and I feel the pain in my heart
like a thousand needles
inching through my skin

only to scrape it, the sweat would make it burn the next day
and remind me of my pains of yesterday
only to bring me more of such trauma
of loving a passing spring flower

and then one day I shall lay
on my back, open eyes, not anymore blink
and call out in a silent inaudible cry
that time it shall be the eye, stoned in your waiting

Echoes in the darkness

She often sits there, beside me, her feet in the water flowing
she will often blink, ask me silly things
things that bring joy, hurt now in her absence
she would ask, why is the sky blue? why do birds sing?
I would answer the sky is tee reflection of your blue eyes
the birds are the echo of your voice
she would call my name, i would hold her close
feel the blood in my veins , it had warmth
I woke up today,nowhere,
I can hear her sometimes, calling my name

Dead before Admittance

The blues shall call me
And take me away
Take me in its depths; embrace me in its calmness
Merge me into the darkness
And fade me away, but the memories in me shall remain
And when long forgotten i am i still shall remember
My heart warmed in a presence, now cannot bring it back
For the i have left the world behind
Those skies faded in the first light
The autumn breeze stopped short of touching me,
Maybe it did, i don’t know, i couldn't feel
And the sky grew nightly
Something hurt, but felt it fade,
My dreams have now all run away
And so has her voice,
The ears stopped yearning for her voice
Once which soothed,
It was long ago, back then, i could play
I was crippled, love a handicap
I still miss her now and then

Transit

Am on the road again.
And all that I have known is fading fast
It’s a blur, when I look back
Receding lanes, forgotten faces
Feeling the needles of the winter chill
The open jeep , I never drove at a 160 before, I did it now
The mind paralyzed , frozen in desires forsaken long
I am not one with me, unlike men, I can see me, as if on 35 mm
often rewound and replayed
I move on
Someday I will stop and look back
Watch myself fade as the road does now

Dear Dearest

Its always been a wish
to fly with the birds, far from known
only to rest, eat, fly again
to get to the destination i call home
somewhere in the clouds
I shall fly once, at least may try once
Will you fly alongside?
I promise to be the leading bird
now and forever, to help you fly easy
I still await you
Amongst these misty hills
arrive, whenever you please
I will wait, forever..

In waiting

Fade, then elude me again
Appear on the horizon of my world
Look down from the corridors of the dreams
The one that i see with open eyes
I reach out to touch the image
Only for it to swirl and evade
Shall i fly, reach the heights,see those eyes
To find the colour in them , unknown to me
Or shall i fall, only to crave for it again
These are my questions i do not have answers for
But i shall find them
Find you, someday
Untill then

This place

What shall end up here?

I ask myself often

Shall it be poetry or shall it be random writings?

Shall it be evil, shall it be pious, shall it be nice and sane?

Shall it be me, or shall it be her?

Shall it make me wonder, make her understand?

To often ask the same questions i return,

Sometimes ponder,

Shall i know what lives in my mind,

If whatever does shall it ever speak to me?

Shall it remain as a shadow of the dreams i erased

Should i know what it is about,

should I tell them what is in my head?

I shall escape again, when alone for a while

Write about the one in my mind ,

How I fear it, but how much I am mystified,

Like all humans I seek chaos,

Unstated, Unsaid, Subliminal;